Dr. Tony Alessandra, Ph.D., CSP, CPAE
President, Alessandra & Associates

Listening-we do it constantly. So why read an article to learn what we already know how to do? Listening is natural! Or . . . is it? Ineffective listening is one of the most frequent causes of:

• misunderstandings
  
• mistakes
  
• lower employee productivity and morale
  
• missed sales
  
• lost customers
  
• billions of dollars of increased costs and lost profits
  
• increased employee turnover
  

Ineffective listening is also acknowledged to be one of the primary contributors to divorce and to the inability of a parent and child to openly communicate. And, people view poor listeners as self-centered, disinterested, preoccupied, and social boors! If all of these negatives result from ineffective listening, why don't we listen effectively?

1. Hard Work

Listening is more than just keeping quiet. An active listener registers increased blood pressure, a higher pulse rate, and more perspiration. It means concentrating on the other person rather than on ourselves.

2. Information Overload

In today's society there is enormous competition for our attention from advertisements, radio, TV, movies, reading material, and more. With all this incoming stimuli, we have learned to screen out that information that we deem irrelevant. Sometimes we also screen out things that are important to us.

3. Rush to Action

We think we know what the person is going to say, so we jump in and interrupt, rather than taking the necessary time to listen and hear the person out.

4. Speed Difference

There is a considerable difference between speech speed and thought speed. The average person speaks at about 135 to 175 words a minute, but can listen to 400 to 500 words a minute. So, the poor listener spends all that time between the speed with which he listens and the speed with which he talks, on daydreams . . . or on thoughts of what he is going to say next . . . or in mentally arguing with the person speaking. It's like listening to two voices at the same time.

5. Lack of Training

We do more listening than speaking, reading, or writing, yet we receive almost no formal education in listening. In fact, the average student gets less than one-half year of listening education through her first 12 years of schooling!

Although many people assume they are good listeners, few actually are. The average employee spends about three-quarters of each working day in verbal communications. Nearly half of that is spent on listening. Incredibly, the average employee's listening effectiveness is only 25%. Today, more and more companies are discovering that one bad listener within the managerial ranks can cause much more damage than a number of good listeners can correct. The normal, untrained listener is likely to understand and retain only about 50% of a conversation, and this relatively poor percentage drops to an even less impressive 25% retention rate 48 hours later. This means that recall of a particular conversation that took place more than a couple of days ago will always be incomplete and usually inaccurate. No wonder people can seldom agree about what has been discussed!

Listening well-listening actively-is obviously important, but how does it really benefit you?

Active listening:

• Improves the environment at work, at home, and in sales.
  
• Reduces relationship tensions and hostilities.
  
• Saves time by reducing mistakes and misunderstandings.
  
• Reduces employee turnover.
  
• Leads to early problem solving.
  
• Increases sales and profits.
  

With all of these benefits, I hope you're now convinced that listening is more than just a natural behavior and that it requires some work to improve. But, what's the secret to improving your listening skills? To listen effectively, you must caress those you're listening to:

• C Concentrate-focus your attention on the speaker and only on the speaker.
  
• A Acknowledge-acknowledge your speaker by demonstrating your interest and attention.
  
• R Research-gather information about your speaker through the skillful use of questions and statements.
  
• E Emotional Control-exercise emotional control by dealing successfully with highly charged messages in a thoughtful manner.Leads to early problem solving.
  
• S Sensing-sense the nonverbal messages of your speaker by observing what he's saying with his body language.
  
• S Structure-structure or organize the information you get through your listening, observation and note taking.
  

Although the six skills are all relatively simple to learn, implementing them may be a more difficult task, because to do so means breaking through a barrier of poor listening habits that most of us have developed over a lifetime.

Listening is wanting to hear. Unless you are motivated to listen, everything discussed in this article is meaningless. When you make active listening an all-the-time behavior, it will bring you an abundance of benefits:

• When you listen to others, they will reciprocate by listening to you.
  
• People will think more favorably of you and like you better than if you didn't listen to them at all.
  
• Both facets of your life will improve-personal and professional.
  
• You will have fewer communication problems.
  
• Your relationships will improve.
  
• Productivity and morale will go up at work.
  

The payoff for improving your listening skills and becoming an active listener is obviously enormous. The benefits are yours simply for the --listening!

HOW DO YOUR LISTENING SKILLS RATE?

Before you begin working to improve your listening skills, let's first look at where you are at this moment in each of the key areas of the CARESS Model. Take a few minutes to respond to the questions below. Your responses will help you determine what specific skills need improvement. Respond honestly to each of the items-no one is going to review or use this survey but you.

C-Concentrate

• When I talk with others, my mind is completely absorbed by what they are saying and it seldom wanders. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  
• When in a conversation with others, I hold my comments until they are finished talking, even though my comments may have direct relevance to what they are saying at that moment. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  
• I do not let distractions like ringing telephones, busy street traffic, or other conversations in a room distract my attention from what someone is saying to me. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  

A-Acknowledge

• When talking face to face or on the phone with someone, I acknowledge what is being said with "I under_stand's," and "I see's." (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  

R-Research

• Whenever I talk with someone, I encourage the conversation and ensure that it will be a two-way flow of communication by asking open-ended questions, clarifying what I don't completely understand, and giving appropriate feedback. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  
• I let others know that I am listening and trying to under_stand what they say by using phrases like, "Tell me more about that," or, "Can you give me an example?" or "Then what?" (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  

E-Emotional Control

• While talking with others, I don't let myself get distracted with thoughts about their accents, clothing, hairstyles, speech patterns or other idiosyncrasies that they may have. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  
• I judge and respond to only the value of what is being said rather than the way and manner in which a person says it. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  

S-Sensing

• When I am talking with others, I read their body language, as well as listen to their words, to fully interpret what they are telling me. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  
• When talking with others, I try to read what's going on behind their spoken words by asking myself what they might be feeling, why they are saying what they are saying, and what is implied by what they say. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  

S-Structure

• Whenever I talk with others, I either take mental or written notes of the major idea, the key points, and the supporting points and/or reasons. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  
• As I take my mental or written notes, I sequence-I listen for order or priority. (Always, Sometimes, Never)
  

Now that you have responded to the items above, you have a road map for improving of your listening skills. Any item marked as "Sometimes" or "Never" identifies a listening skill that needs improvement. For any item marked as "Always"-Congratulations!

Dr. Alessandra profitably runs his own training and consulting firm. Tony is also President of InContact Systems, Inc., a company that develops and markets sales force automation and business software solutions. He is one of the most widely published authors in the business community today with 12 books including The Platinum Rule (Warner Books); Collaborative Selling (Wiley); and Communicating at Work (Fireside/Simon & Schuster). He has been featured in over 50 audio/video programs and films, including The Power of Listening (McGraw-Hill); How to Gain Power and Influence with People (Nightingale-Conant) and Non-Manipulative Selling (Walt Disney). Please contact Tony if you have any questions or comments.

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